Using a chorus line

Today we used a chorus line to create a poem. The chorus line is a repeating line of poetry and is often used at the start or end of a set of lines or stanza. It helps create structure and, we hope, added significance or potency to our poem.



THE DAY

The day has begun
Early morning rise

The day has begun
4:30am, still a bit tired

The day has begun
Happy to be alive

The day has begun
Looking for the light

The day has begun


- Haki Davis



HITCH-HIKER

I hitch-hiked into a dusty town, cars passing by,
A young man uncertain of the future,
Lonely among the mountains and the hills,
Needing to get to the city and my friends.

I hitch-hiked into a dusty town, cars passing by,
Will I get to where I want at end of day,
Or will I sleep at side of road,
Snug as a bug in my sleeping bag?

I hitch-hiked into a dusty town, cars passing by,
Would they take pity on a weary traveller,
Who could not settle down,
But wandered country roads, cities and towns?

I hitch-hiked into a dusty town, cars passing by,
Younger then, but would not do it now,
I am older and have settled down,
Driving country roads, cities and the towns.


- Robert




BELOW SWAMPY

    Golden Autumn grass gleams in the evening sun
a few home sheep stand like rocks in the far paddock
Red and brown, the leaves blow from the Prunus
        and the Waitati fog whispers in

Up on the motorway saddle
    lights pierce the white-out cloud
truck wheels rumble and the clay pan vibrates
    as the Waitati fog slides by

      Sunset over Flagstaff
shards of fiery light pierce my eyes
lighting windows and throwing shadows
    as it shreds through the Waitati fog

Darkness. House lights are seen
    traffic is muffled on Highway one, TVs call
    Curtains close
Blacking out the drifting Waitati fog

- Karen



CAN'T STOP THE TRAIN

You won't stop the train from rolling
Can you see the days and weeks?
Here comes those voices round my mind
I can't stop the train from rolling

I am alone with raging thoughts
Feeling frightened and confused
'Who's there?' Just starting to panic
Can't stop the train from rolling

Stop. Look back and calm. But you know
You won't stop the train from rolling

- Philip



THE FLAGS

I am curious what the flags represent
They must mean something important
It can't be a national event or gathering
There doesn't seem to be police or body guards
I am now thinking 'What have I missed?'

I am curious what the flags represent
It's in my part of the community
Now I feel annoyed because I'm unsure
Curiosity killed the cat (superstitious), tho
I am still curious what the flags represent

I feel lost. It's not in the newspaper
Now I'm taking a determined step
I'm feeling confident enough to ask
'Excuse me, can you tell me what's happening?
I'm curious what the flags represent?'

Polite chap he was. He and the rest of the flag holders
were for a campaign of freedom, choices and equality
I feel happy. Now I know what the flags represent!

- Vince

Impressions

Today we explored impression writing. We started by listing things we know about, whether that is a hobby, sport or place. We chose one thing and then expanded on that, writing about what makes it special, what it looks, sounds or smells like, how it makes us feel, what it makes us wonder about? We then wrote a poem using short fragmented lines. The aim was to create an impression of the subject or thing without using normal sentences. The beauty of this is that it leaves room for others to create their own meaning from our poems and gives us as writers another way to write about the world around us.


FIRE

Dancing to a tune
Burning brighter than a light
Hungry as a lion
Invincible
Immortal
Energising
Powerful
Active
Dancing with the divine

- Haki Davis



W.B. YEATS, POET

Sligo graveyard by the sea
Yellow-red sunset
Peace
Swans on the lake
Quiet town
Flat topped mountain above
The poet writes
Leaves the world a better place
I come to his resting place

- Robert



PINEHILL CLOUD

dense white
            loitering, lingering
     solid like marshmallow
                     silently creeping
compressing smells, smoke, light.
Heat from body, hearth and home is sucked
Now feeling safe, enclosed, secure;
    like Capetown's Tablecloth, our Blanket

- Karen



ANOTHER DAY

another day
graceful hello
gentle touch
kind word
a second to share
ready
a smile
we've done it again
happy
another day

- Molly



DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

Curving up and down
Like waves
Curled in my arms
Light as a feather
It springs into action
My fingers fly
Flickering strings sing
in falsetto
     Smiling and singing
         Smiling and singing
With laughing eyes
Play on you say
Play on.

- Paul

Haiku #2

Haiku is a popular and accessible form of poetry that some members of our writing group were keen to try. They're short (the Haiku) but deceptively difficult to do well. The aim is to use as few words as possible to capture a moment in time. According to one expert "a good Haiku conveys through implication and suggestion a moment of keen perception or insight into nature or human nature". Traditionally there are references to the environment or season, grounding the poem in the world around us. Sometimes they have contrasting or juxtaposing elements that can surprise or make us think differently about something. People often use a 5-7-5 syllable format for each line but this is not as important as the ability to paint a picture with few words, capture a moment and achieving that 'aha' moment. 

Here's a few that the group came up with in today's session. 

Fog obscured land

Above white - blue

Albatross gliding

- Karen

White whiskers twitching

Beady eyes glint, surveying

Patter of feet race

- Rose McCulloch

Poor smoker puffing

Smoking golden tobacco

Poor health of wallet

- Phil Porteous

Fog obscures the beach

Waves rolling to the shoreline

Distant figures turn

Hills glow in yellow

Moments later they are dark

Bird twitters loudly

- Robert 

Ice-cream melting

Very hot day

Damn, not my car

Man standing alone

Should he stay or should he go?
Bloody bus service!

- James Macandrew

sounds echoed around
getting louder and louder
within her head


grass grows all around
mown in intricate patterns
rugby sprigs destroy

- Christine Philp

What is love?

That's right, this week's theme was love, which is a big topic to tackle as it comes in all shapes and sizes, but maybe that's a good thing for a writer? We started our session by simply describing love in poetry or prose. We then worked with the line 'Love is...' which we had to repeat in a poem in some way - such as the start of each line or stanza. Lastly we wrote a love poem to a person or animal - pets being quite a popular subject!



LOVE

Love is feeling warm and safe
Like a bird in its nest
Or a human family
Gathered in a house around the fire
While winds and rain rattle the dwelling
It feels as if it will last forever
Beyond death

- Robert



LOVE IS

love is tolerant of small wrongs
love speaks out at big wrongs
love is not always passionate
love is enduring
love is candlelight and roses
love is warming old slippers by the fire
love is helping a small child learn to read
love is clipping grandfather's toenails
love is cooking your partner's favourite dinner
love is helping with the dishes
love is forgoing a beer with your mates to buy your wife flowers
love is fixing the dropping tap without nagging
love is a dreamer into the future
love is pragmatic in the present

- Helen Ledger

Birds

This week we wrote about birds and in particular writing from the bird's perspective.


I, MOA

running
heavy foot and claw grasp the ground
thick sinews stretch and contract
             running
head thrust forward, eye bright
beak open to taste the air
                        running
why could I not have wings to lift
this heavy body to the sky?
Fire
from heaven it came
Earth bright, crackle, spark
            running

- Karen


SOME OWLS DO CRY

I am an owl
They call me a morepork
You can always eat morepork
But who, who, who said we
are wise?
Us owls with big eyes
The guru
Who asks who?
Only then do we find
the spirits who are kind
And shut out the evils
of the devils
The owl
Who asks who
Is wise like the guru


- Phillip Poerteous



MOLLYMAWK TALK

Ah, there they are again
Fishing rod, tasty bait, two good men
They fidget and talk, sometimes I squawk
Lines a-dangling, one smoking and one sitting
They come here every week
Whatever the weather
Their thoughts of a catch increasingly bleak
After an hour or so they pack up their stuff
Climb in their car
And drive away fast enough
And what of the bait?
Well, I eat it mate!

- James MacAndrew



ARRK! MINE!

Waste not want not
Aarrk! Mine!
Get away
I've got this morsel
Hmm, not too bad
Not as good as the chips
I found at St Clair beach yesterday
But better than a bloody worm

And so much choice!
Piles and piles of delicious detritous
Aarrk! Mine!
Clear off buzzards

Men at work
Good chaps
Very kind really
Aarrk!
Life at the dump
Is beautiful

- Paul Smith

Haiku for the new year

Our first writing group for the year started with sharing stories about what we had been reading which was a treasure trove of stories, from The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Origin by Dan Brown, a Scottish magazine called The People's Friend, and the Tuesday McGillycuddy children's series, to name a few! Today we share a few haiku written by an artist who, while not attending our writing group, is also a keen writer and reader - thanks Mike! 


THE UNIVERSE

Mystery in black
Continuous expansion
Distances extreme


LIFE

Vital force in us
A miracle to exist
Shared experience


- Michael Duthie

Signs of the times

This week we went for a short walk down Princes Street with our notebooks, noting down words from various signs in shops, on passing trucks, on buildings and windows. It didn't take long to fill up a page, then the tricky part - putting them together into a piece of poetry. Not easy but good fun.


DUNEDIN EXCHANGE

let nothing perish
collect up the moas of designs
that have long celebrated their birthday parties
in the trash sak of history
the warehouse of the antiquated and outdated
is open for viewing
sit and drink your daily coffee
and eat your homemade pies
while the dealers and restorers do their work
patching with needle n thread
the retro clothing store thrives
and the pawnbrokers are alert for a bargain
there are 2nd hand books in custom uniform editions
and a bus stop right outside the studio and gallery
the choice is unlimited and the quality
is guaranteed
anything else is a compromise

- Helen Ledger



GREAT SENSATION

You'd be lucky to get a Persian cupid
They're in limited supply
You might get a free consultation
at the Zen attic
If you can pull together some
better moves
Every day is a new adventure
Behold, a new style!
A retro sensation!
Be open, be free
Beware - a wolf in sheep's clothing!
Swigging alcohol in a banned area
As dead souls drink purple rain
Believe me, the visual effects
are electric!
Blue oysters thrive behind the counter
Be bold, it's a sign of things to come
Dial up now for a viewing
Or clear-off before we perish
inside the great sensation
of an invented life.

- Paul Smith