Complaining is seen as negative but with a little creativity it can be very amusing and somewhat satisfying. We started today's writing session with a letter to the editor with a minor concern that probably doesn't warrant writing a letter to the editor about. We then moved on to a letter of complaint to a company about a product or service we have experienced that was too successful or had some unintended consequence. Finally we wrote a letter of complaint to world leaders - so much to say and so little time!
DEAR EDITOR
I am distraught after recently riding a bus into town and failing to swipe on. A gasp of fear was followed by nervous laughter, then hysterical cheering. The Bee Card sensor was missing. I scanned of course but instead of relaxing and checking out people's backyards, I had to spend my ride editing QR notes - times, bus stops, number of persons getting on, number of persons getting off, their gender, proximity to each passenger, and to the driver. I didn't have enough time to sanitize!
I cannot stress enough that a free trip is not worth the trauma, the devastation, of a ride without swiping on and off. Come on ORC, you must have some spares sensors you can swap in!
Yours Kate Jenkins
DEAR MAINLAND
Your cheese it is creamy and quick to delight
but your TV adverts have caused quite a fright
Two hoary old men with their corer in hand
testing a block 'til there's naught left but sand
I cannot report I enjoy eating cheese crumbs
as I see each fine block consumed by the bums
You sell only dregs while they eat up the best
Come on Mainland, don't just give us the rest
Your ads I observe are both scenic and lovely
Just be sure you sell us good cheese in entirety
- Kate Jenkins
DEAR EDITOR
Just the other day I was happily strolling along ' Is it just me? ' street when my eyes were assaulted by a mural - a busy, virtually colourless, unbeautiful "painting" of gigantic proportions that was exceedingly hurtful to mine eyes.
This monstrosity seemed to serve no purpose but to irritate. And it did.
Where was the braided river...? the stretching plain...? the wood pigeon in her maroon/green waistcoat...?
Where were the flowers, the rata etc etc ?
I sign myself your most offended citizen/reader.
- Lucy Anne
DEAR DONALD
As a non-poetic president
Do you know what you've missed?
Justice and peace
are high on the list
Your light
hidden by shadow
falling heavily
upon the nation
you lead
astray.
- Lucy Anne
